There have been numerous times in my life when I’ve been at a low point and someone has told me to trust God, everything will turn out. I remember hearing those words in the midst of circumstances gone wrong and thinking, “I did trust God, that’s what got me here”. It’s easy to say things like that: “Well the last time I trusted God he didn’t do what I asked”, or “I trusted him with this situation and this is the result, I can’t trust him again”. I would say that the reason we are so quick to say we can’t trust him is because the result of trusting him wasn’t what we expected, it wasn’t what we had planned. Well, that can be quite frustrating, especially when we’ve put a lot into our plans. But the problem begins with the confusion between trusting God to lead us and trusting God to work out our plans.
Hearing that God is trustworthy and faithful in the midst of chaos is usually in no way comforting. That doesn’t take away from the sincerity and good intention of the person saying those words, but often they’re just words.
What no one tells you is that it’s SO HARD! Trusting God is so far from an easy thing to do. I’d say it’s one of the hardest things to do, especially when things are hard, when it feels like your world is crumbling.
Last week I took the leap to start moving across the country. Away from family and comfort. I knew it was God’s leading and I was excited to step into it. I had a job, friends, was looking for a place to live, and everything seemed to be falling into place. That is, until I was halfway moved and got word that the job I thought I had fell through. What the heck, God!? Why didn’t you warn me of this? Why didn’t you know this was gonna happen?
Oh wait, you did. So why didn’t you tell me!?
I’ve been pondering that question all week. I’ve had more interviews, looked at hundreds of jobs, prayed for something to turn up. But still nothing. So am I crazy to still move? If I do, won’t people talk about how I’m moving for nothing? And if I don’t, won’t people think I heard God wrong? I have no job to go back to, and no job to go to. Seems a little crazy to me.
Yet still I hear even God tell me to trust Him.
But how? I trusted you to get me here, I trusted you with the biggest leap of my life and look where that got me?
But the truth is it hasn’t gotten me anywhere bad. I’ve been praying all week, asking God why, and I know that it is just Him growing me. It occurred to me that He was absolutely aware of this shocking surprise. To Him, it was old news. He was already working it together before it had even happened. And though it’s maddening, extremely scary, and sort of upsetting, I really have no other choice but to trust Him. I can either sit around and worry, which gets me nowhere and just makes me feel worse. Or I can trust that He is faithful and will take care of it.
For my human mind, trusting God to work things out when it seems humanly impossible is quite outrageous. But impossible is possible with Him. So I just have to let it be.
And it’s super hard. But every moment, as I surrender to Him, He pulls me closer and assures me that He has it all worked out.