Have you ever thought that you knew for sure a certain door would be open for you only to realize that it’s actually completely closed? That’s exactly what happened to me this past week.
I applied for a job after lots of prayer and conversations with Jesus asking Him if this is really what He wanted me to do. It wasn’t my first choice but if it’s what He had for me, if it was how He was going to provide for me, I was willing to step out and do it.
So back in December I submitted my resume and threw my hat in the ring for a position that would stretch me and really focus on my leadership skills. It wasn’t long after that I got an email asking for a phone interview. I set that up and felt like it went great. During that interview I was told it would be a three step interview process so if I make it to the next round I would have possibly two more interviews. And that’s exactly what happened, I had two more interviews with people that were pretty high up in the organization. Again, I thought both of those went fairly well, maybe not as well as the first, but it still felt like it was the right path for me.
Let me add that the first two calls were in December and the third call was in February, so it had been going on for a while with not a whole lot of communication as to what was happening. And while this process was ongoing I took on a temporary position with the same organization to help fill in the gaps. But I saw it as it was, only temporary.
It had been over a month since I heard anything and I was starting to wonder if the position was still open. For all I knew it was filled and just not communicated with the other applicants. I decided, after some encouragement from Chloë, to reach out and see what the status was. The response I got was the typical thanks but no thanks email. (Side note, I’m rarely ever cocky or arrogant but I honestly believed I had this in the bag!) I was pretty shocked by this.
It came on a day where my emotions were worn thin, stress was on high, and I was just pushing to get through the day. I questioned Jesus as to why He would have me go through that process, why I would have to find that out on that specific day, and what the heck was next! That job was a big part of my staying in Columbia and now I don’t have that. I didn’t see it coming but am realizing it is making me trust my Creator all the more.
“I questioned Jesus as to why He would have me go through that process, why I would have to find that out on that specific day, and what the heck was next!”
It’s only been a few days and I’m still processing and praying through it all but it feels like I’m back at square one. And maybe you’re feeling like that too today. Maybe, like me, you put all your eggs in one basket as a leap of faith only for it to seem like in the moment you misheard or jumped too early. I want to remind you that His ways are not our ways and every leap we take, no matter what, is honoring to Him and only means that what He has is better than we could ask or imagine. Sometimes, so I’m learning, one leap only leads to another, so be brave, be bold, and continue to follow as He leads you no matter where it takes you!